So yesterday I was on the train on the way home and I've been sick for most of this week and unable to talk...yesterday was the first day I could really talk but my ears are still stuffy. And the point is that I can't really judge exactly how loud I'm talking but I called a friend who'd had a stressful medical procedure to see how he was doing and we ended up talking for most of the ride (over 45 minutes). Now my train pretty much empties out after the first 4 or 5 stops, but this guy who had no possessions with him, like he was a low-level something or other comes up to me and tells me "I'd like you to know how rude you've been to your fellow passengers for the last 45 minutes" because I was talking on my phone. Nevermind that when I looked around there were like 4 people in the car and they all seemed to be engrossed in books, sudoko or something else--this guy decided he was the spokesperson of ALL the people in the car and he was going to tell the girl off. And nevermind that the guy in front of me was talking loudly on his phone trying to figure out if people at his job were talking about his job performance and when he wasn't being paranoid about his job on the phone he had his ipod set so loudly I could hear him listening to Bon Jovi endlessly--and this guy was in between me and the annoying man who told me off just before he got off the train. So he skips the man and yells at the woman because he can without threat of confrontation. What would have been nice was if he told me that I was bothering him and I would have tried to talk softer or hung up. I rarely talk at length on the phone unlike other people who go on endlessly about whether they are ordering General Tso Chicken or Pizza, and so the one time I talk on the phone some dweeb yells at me on behalf of the entire car. I love that he took it upon himself to be the cellphone slayer of the Pascack Valley Line. And he was younger than I was. I think I look a lot younger than I actually am and he assumed he was telling off a young "gal" not a mature woman that I am (I will not divulge my age but suffice it to say I'm closer to 50 than I am to thirty) and this guy had to be in his 30's yet he talked to me like I was a teen. Condescending and rude. Why is it that I've only ever had men do things like that? Once a woman asked me if I could turn down my ipod and I was happy to do it. That is the civilized way of handling commuting issues, the other way the guy is just a passive agressive creep. I was hoping I would run into him again tonight and I could sit right by him and play my ipod loudly or play a game and swear like a sailor. But alas, no big oaf tonight, just rain, rain and more rain. Everyone was too busy building Arks to care about anyone else.
I've decided that everyone should keep track of commuters who do things like that guy and we tally them up and see if women or men are really the "passive aggressors".
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