Rupert

Grown man acting like a second grader, aka Our President

One of the problems of being a really lazy blogger is that by the time I get around to posting about something, it's already all over the web. Which makes my posts to this blog irrelevant. In fact, in my day-to-day life, every person I've talked to about the aggravating film clip I've linked below has already seen it...

http://www.gayrightswatch.com/misc/bushbrokebackmountain.wmv

(Thanks to www.gayrightswatch.com.)

A lot of people, however, have only read about it without seeing the clip. If you're actually uninitiated and the link above doesn't work, President Bush was asked at the pro-wiretapping town hall meeting in Kansas whether or not, as a rancher, he'd seen Brokeback Mountain yet. He answers twice that he hasn't seen it but that he would want to talk about ranching. I've been told by people that there was nothing wrong with that answer. But it's not what he said it's how he said it...

Embarrased grimaces, eyes rolling, his jaw buckling around as if he can't get his tongue far enough into his cheek to imply how insane he thinks the idea of seeing a gay-romance movie would be. The build-up is so long that it's met with riotous laughter when he finally chokes out his answer.

Our President is ten years old.

Hell, our President is Eric Cartman. And that's what drives me insane. He's supposed to be every American's president, not just the straight Evangelical ones. And that's something he's never grasped. Hell, he can't grasp the basic tenets of the Constitution, sure, but even Reagan and his father realized that you're not supposed to summarily dismiss parts of the population. Bush 41 wouldn't have acted like Butthead when the subject of gay people came up.

It reminds me of the moment in the Bush/Kerry debates where George responded to an Kerry by saying a liberal from Massachusetts might feel the way Kerry did. As if he weren't also running to be the President of the citizens of Massachusetts. Dumbass.

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I love you, now leave me alone

Last week, I was first exposed to Mike Nesmith's version of "Different Drum," a song I've always associated with Linda Rondstat's pristine vocals and light-rock radio. The odd dignity that Linda gives all of her music, meaning in some ways the kind of dull prettiness of her voice and arrangements, always made me think of this song, coming at a time of changing social attitudes as an empowering song for a woman--a song decreeing that a woman didn't need a man. It's only after hearing Mike Nesmith sing the song he wrote in his own goofy timbre that I realized that it's about being a bastard to someone who adores you. The song takes on a different tone when a man sings it:

You and I travel to the beat of a different drum
Oh, can't you tell by the way I run
Every time you make eyes at me, wo-oh
You cry and moan and say it will work out
But honey child I've got my doubts
You can't see the forest for the trees

It really comes off kind of skeevy when a man's singing that to a woman. If a woman has someone crying and moaning after her, well, kick him to the curb. But I think most people sense that when a man says a woman is crying and moaning she's probably telling him she loves him. I think it was meant to be funnier than it is. Ironically, he needed a woman's voice to tide him over financially before all that liquid paper money came pouring in. I have to admit, I laughed at the last lines...

So goodbye, I'll be leavin', I see no sense
In this cryin' and grievin'
We'll both live a lot longer if you live without me

I never realized that was funny before. But it also made me think of my favorite funny breakup song, which is told by a woman from the woman's point of view. "Don't Come Over Baby" by Carolyn Mark

Don't come over, baby
You're not invited
Love was so much better
When it was unrequited
So go to hell
Leave me alone
And please don't answer, baby when I call you on the phone

The last line proving that Carolyn is both funnier and smarter than any damn Monkee, because it flips the whole equation on it's ass - it's not just that she's realized that she's tired of this guy, it's his responsibility to not let her call.

You must ignore me
Not adore me
And we'll go far
So if I see you on the street
And pull over the car
Say "refresh my memory,
I don't know where you are."

So this song also fits the category of Different Drum, even though it's in a class by itself, in being both a funny breakup song and a get the hell away from me song. BUT... it fits a third category of being a funny get away from me song in which the parties probably want to be together but the singer is suffering from some insane post traumatic stress disorder that demands they keep the other party away. Which brings us to another favorite that stands with Carolyn's song, Stephin Merritt's song for Magnetic Fields "Absolutely Cuckoo":

Don't fall in love with me yet
We've only recently met
Sure I'm in love with you but
You might decide I'm a nut
Give me a week or two to
Go absolutely cuckoo
So when you see your error
You can flee in terror
Like everybody else does...

It gets funnier. I'm so disturbed and saddened by the idea of people who are into each other sabotaging a good thing and I'm so afraid of it in my own life that I end up finding songs like this hilarious.

This sounds like the beginning of a good anti-Valentine's mix - darkly funny sardonic songs about people who are trying to stay away from each other. I'm starting the list in the comments section... NOW!